Author Archive

Facebreaker – Dedicated to the Flesh

August 24th, 2013
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How Many Songs About Zombies Can Be Written?

So what do we got here? A metal band from Sweden!? No way! But not just any metal band, this is Facebreaker. That’s right, their name is FACEBREAKER. Shit, that’s pretty brutal… not gonna lie. Anyways, these homies have their fourth full length, Dedicated to the Flesh, to incise your cranium.

Guitarist Janne Ivarsson: Hey bro, how you wanna open this album?
Guitarist Mika Lagrén: I dunno, drone out some power chords then chug?
Ivarsson: Gotcha.

And thus the story of “Meat Freak” was told. Drop that shit to C and let our friends Ivarsson and Lagrén take over. The tale isn’t over, though, cause title-track “Dedicated to the Flesh” brings to you the death metal equivalent to Motörhead. However, the chorus brings about more typical double-bass lore you’d come to expect of a death metal band from Sweden. That’s not all bad, though– with touches of Vomitory (think Blood Rapture), and some guitar soloing akin to Bill Steer, it’s not always the worst idea to stray from the recipe.

Really, though, how many songs about zombies can be written? “Zombie Flesh Cult” details nearly every Six Feet Under (or Cannibal Corpse) song just about ever. To top it off, there’s another song called “Swarm of Zombies.” Come on, guys. You’re better than this. Sure, it’s brutal and shit, but COME ON.

Ok, fine… at least “Mutilator” has some seriously beastly chugging going on. Can’t hate on that. Oh, there’s also some Shannon Hamm solo action going on. Not bad. But then Facebreaker has to hit you with “Hellmaster.” First off, it’s called “Hellmaster.” COME ON, MAN. And then the song sounds like Amon Amarth taking a nap while in the tracking room.

Alright, alright… listen, Facebreaker did a decent job here. “Nuclear Outbreak” reminds me of Superjoint Ritual with gore-vox, and “World Cremation” almost feels like a Venom tune. But, in the end, Dedicated to the Flesh feels uninspired and formulaic. That being said, this would most likely appeal to most death/gore fans who love everything from Metal Blade’s catalog, 1995-2005.

By Bryant Schumacher Posted in Reviews

Black Water Rising – Pissed and Driven

August 18th, 2013
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Woah, Where Did the Tailgate Party Come From?

When was the last time you worked out? Actually, your arms are lookin’ a little flabby. You even lift, bro? Hey, here’s a little piece of advice, pussy: You gotta pump ur fists, man. Yeah, that’s it, BROhammed Ali. Actually, if you really wanna get that rip going brother, throw on some Black Water Rising, Bro Montana. In fact, their newest release, Pissed and Driven, is like a Navy Seal workout… only for fist pumping… anyways…
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By Bryant Schumacher Posted in Reviews

Exhumed – Necrocracy

August 11th, 2013
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Gore Soufflé

If you claim to be a fan of any type of extreme metal (death, grind, black, blackened-death, etc.) and you haven’t heard Exhumed’s 1998 masterpiece Gore Metal, then you’re really missing out on a pretty important part of the metal puzzle coming into the 2000s. It had that erratic and sloppy early Florida death sound with a bit of oldschool English grind that really had a certain magic to it. However, that sound got lost in almost cartoonish amounts of technicality as death/grind/black metal bands progressed. Lucky for us purists, Exhumed has been bringing the magic back while slowly introducing tighter, more concise riffage (without going full Necrophagist) with their latest effort, Necrocracy.
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By Bryant Schumacher Posted in High Fidelity, Reviews

KingBathmat – Overcoming the Monster

July 29th, 2013


Ask the Toll Troll for a Refund

Neo-proggers KingBathmat bring you another set of multiple 8-minute mini epics of Howe-approved, symphonic rock balladeering with their sixth release, Overcoming the Monster that is sure to satiate your hunger for all things prog. Maybe. After 40 or so years of progressive music, do KingBathmat have what it takes to relieve those searching high and low for the next generation of prog, or will it fall victim to the pretensions of aimless, mid ’80s Adrian Belew-ian wankery? Well, let’s go ahead and potion up, cast renew, call attention to all healers and spin that 20-sided die on our quest for the answer.
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By Bryant Schumacher Posted in Reviews

Battlecross – War of Will

July 16th, 2013


Prepare Your Fists in the Pumping Position

Michigan heshers Battlecross are back once again with another Metal Blade release, War of Will. Fans of their previous efforts: fear not, for Battlecross’ third full length effort promises even more “Blue Collar Thrash Metal” with hints of serious melodicism and power grooves. So go ahead and prepare your fists in the pumping position for 36 minutes of blast beats and videogame harmonies.
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By Bryant Schumacher Posted in Reviews

Wilson – Full Blast Fuckery

July 14th, 2013


The Worst Album of 2003, Made in 2013

Who are Wilson? Well, according to their Facebook page, they’re “five dudes in a van with beards and big dicks.” And guess what else? They’re apparently “working harder than your parents.” Well, hopefully their LP, Full Blast Fuckery, backs up this rather bold claim.
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By Bryant Schumacher Posted in Reviews

Author & Punisher – Women & Children

June 25th, 2013


A Minimal, Pulsating Blob of Angst

You ever wish Sunn O))) played homemade noise generators housed in casings styled like power-tools over 200% slower Combichrist drums? Well, if you have ever made that wish, you might be granted something like Author & Punisher. The one-man-band, led by Tristan Shone, has sculpted a blend of industrial, doom, sludge, drone, EBM, and faint elements of gabber to form a hodgepodge of misanthropic noise with his latest effort, Women & Children.
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By Bryant Schumacher Posted in Reviews

Evile – Skull

June 15th, 2013


…And Ride The Master Of Justice For All Lightning Puppets

Alright, say you have a metal band and you need a title for your new album and it looks like all the epic shit has already been taken by all those kooky Norwegians– not to mention the million other metal acts that have come before you. So, what do you do? Call it Skull. Fuck it, you can’t get more metal than skulls, dude. Neo-heshers, Evile, did just that. The result is the band’s fourth LP and is certainly the biggest sound they’ve ever put out. Here’s the challenge, though: how do you keep thrash fresh? There seems to be a revivalist type of thing going on in the metal scene, so let’s see what Evile has for us.
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By Bryant Schumacher Posted in Reviews

Haust – NO

June 7th, 2013


How to Scream Like a Pterodactyl with Kidney Stones

Traditionally speaking, Norway isn’t exactly known for its punk rock. Lately, however, there have been some punk blips on the radar from the Scandinavian Peninsula. This may be due to Norwegian giants Darkthrone playing around with punk and old hardcore styles. Whatever the case, black and death metal may be in danger due to groups such as Haust. Lacking all the studio wiz-bang production, corpse-paint attire, and general “metal” clichés, Haust brings to you one of the most garbage-y sounding albums to emerge out of one of the major metal epicenters in their debut album, NO. Now, just hold on a second– there’s no talk of demons and or any related shit… and it’s from Norway? And it’s called NO? Alright, pretty punk so far, fellas.
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By Bryant Schumacher Posted in Reviews

Antigama – Meteor

June 3rd, 2013


It’ll Hit You Harder Than A Puma

Relapse Records veterans Antigama are back for their sixth full length release. The Warsaw natives have consistently released albums with three-minute blast beats for some time, and Meteor, their latest effort, is no different. Grindcore fans shall rejoice, as Antigama drop the hammer once again with 29 minutes of homegrown Polish hate.
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By Bryant Schumacher Posted in Reviews